2021 - About time for an update?

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I'm still getting used to this whole blogging thing, and trying to find time to write, edit, market, and plan new things for my series of books.

Book stuff: My publisher, Words Matter Publishing, has been busy organizing new marketing options for our novels, and I've been busy in the background supplying them with the info they need, as well as organizing a few marketing things of my own.

I am trying to get my novels into libraries in New Zealand, to help build my readership. This isn't a simple job, as there isn't a go-to email to request all libraries purchase your books. Each of the 300+public libraries in New Zealand makes their own decisions about what will suit their collections, and I need to write to each of them to get my books approved for purchase. So I've spent a good part of the last month tracking down all the email addresses to send these requests. Finally, I'm done collecting them, and I should send emails this week.

Now on to the high-school libraries!

Personal stuff:

I have been suffering over the last couple of years with nerve damage.

You may recall my blog post about my eye surgery. That related to diabetic retinopathy — eye bleeds and issues related to nerve damage in the retina caused by long-term Type 1 Diabetes. My pregnancy triggered this in 2015.

Most Type 1's get diabetic complications after 15 years with the disease. Anything beyond that makes you a survivor of this disease. I've had Type 1 for 34 years after my diagnosis at age three. I have only had mild eye issues throughout my teen years and later, and no other complications. Overall, I've been extremely lucky... until...

In the last 2 years I started noticing my cuts and scratches weren't healing as quickly, and then in the last eighteen months that my feet were over-reacting to pain, and walking felt like I was treading on broken glass. The doctor diagnosed this as a different type of nerve damage called diabetic periphial neuropathy — where legs (in particular) and other extremities get nerve damage. Leg neuropathy usually causes many issues, including numbness, skin damage (because of lack of sensation, meaning the patient does not know they are injured), infections, and can lead to amputations.

Luckily (haha) for me, mine is caused by hyperactive nerves, the sort where every single injury is felt. This means I'm unlikely to end up with any damage leading to amputations, but I will endure extreme pain in my feet and legs, from tingling to stabbing, throbbing and sharp pains at any time with no visible reason. (I have a phobia of insects crawling on me, so the tingling HAS to feel like bugs scampering up and down my legs, now, doesn't it?)

The painkillers I take (which are one of only a couple of painkiller options for nerve pain — another I am taking for my depression already) make me sleepy. So I am currently walking (am I though?) a fine line between treating the pain enough to make my life bearable and trying not to fall asleep while driving or caring for our daughter who has autism. This means I am in a lot of pain a lot of the time.

Other issues to do with my nerves have resulted in a variety of strange body symptoms. This is known as autonomic nerve damage - body-wide nerve issues where nerves misfire, lose sensation, or cannot signal the brain that something is happening/not happening in the body). I have injured both my hips during falls (muscular strains) and my muscles are not healing correctly. I have had a frozen shoulder (common diabetic complication) but its healing has stopped, and now the joint stiffness can only be maintained by physio. I have digestive system issues, sensation loss internally causing issues with my bladder and bowel, internal temperature control/sweating issues, and other healing issues. I catch colds All. The. Time. I'm constantly battling sinus infections, throat infections, and stomach bugs. In short, living is a literal pain in the butt (or hips, whatever!)

Throughout all this I am also battling long-term insomnia, an anxiety disorder and depression. I am drained of energy before I get out of bed. Most days, I struggle to do the basics like go to the bathroom, feed myself, or move around the house easily. Caring for an active child with special needs on top is totally draining (but man, do I love her!)

So, as you can imagine, my writing life is easily falling by the wayside as I struggle to find energy to edit (which I hate) and write (which I love). However, needs must, and I am trying to get back on the horse, while it bucks madly, and get control of those things that slipped out of the saddlebags during the disaster of 2020.

Now we are well into 2021, I am trying to get my website updated, my books into libraries, and to promote my books for sale where and when I can.

I had many plans for promotion, but most will take time, energy and funds that I simply do not have yet. I will get there, and new books will continue to be released as quickly as I can manage. But please bear with me while I get there.

I am grateful for the few online friends who have supported me through my journey to date. They have kept me going when I felt like giving up and encouraged me when the path ahead was traumatic and unlit by the light at the end of the tunnel (to be fair, I often wonder how far away that damn light really is!)

It's a pity I can't say the same for many of my local friends and family. Most I have not heard from in months or years, and thanks to my daughter's Autism diagnosis, going out to make new friends without a babysitter we can call on or trust to be handy, is a no-go.

Side note: If you have a family member or friend with special needs, or with a child with special needs, please go out of your way to ask if they'd like a day or night off, or a babysitter, and follow through with the help offered.

So many of us never get offered help, and are too worried about being a burden to ask — especially when we've been turned down, had help cancelled, or been patronised many times by those closest to us, or treated like a burden for needing help that other's view as "unnecessary" or "a handout" because they've never had to ask for it (there but for the grace of god...).

Your help will mean the world to those in that situation, and give them an opportunity they probably would not otherwise get, to have a bit of fun or to get some much needed rest. Professional carers are so expensive, and government or charity funding often won't cover the entire cost, leaving many to cover these costs out of pocket, or rely on friends and family who are simply not there for them. In today's economic climate, the cost of professional care is often impossible for a single income family to manage, so many go without help.

I know my partner and I would need several weeks of uninterrupted rest to recover our energy levels, but for now, I'd love some book sales so we could buy some takeaways for dinner, or further advertising for my books. Or an editor.

I really need a holiday.

I hope you are all doing better than me, and are staying kind!

Thanks for your patience and support while I work on getting Book 2 edited and to my publisher.

Love from Evie XX